sleeping alone plus 1

How do you know when a relationship has gotten old? When you run out of things to talk about? When you can't stand the sight of each other? Maybe even worse, when you go to bed together and you still feel like you're going to bed and waking up alone..bingo.

Over the past 3 almost 4 weeks I haven't been the normal happy/bouncy/off the wall Kelly like I usually am. Let me tell you why:
The car accident has left me off my feet for the past 3 almost 4 weeks with a severely sprained ankle. Hobbling around on crutches isn't too flashy these days. Although, it tends to get you a little more respect when you need the door opened for you or the chair pulled out so you can sit down in a comfortable manor. But that's besides the point.


Here is my point: car-less. sprained ankle. Luke and Al = CABIN FEVER.

Like I said, I haven't been myself and I probably haven't been the nicest either. [Here it goes...] I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've been edgy. I'm sorry that I can't hold a consistent amount of level headed actions and words. I'm sorry. What more can I say besides I'm sorry?


In result of being moody, ugly and cranky.. I now wake up alone in the bed next to Al. He doesn't cuddle me. He doesn't kiss me. He won't even hug me. All because of how I've treated him over the past couple weeks.
I mean, wouldn't any one of you go out of your mind because you're stuck at home unable to fully take care of your self? Can't leave when ever you want? Can't talk on the phone because you're phone has been shut off for the past month due to no payment? How about only having Luke and Al as human contact just about 24/7. No lie, it gets kinda old and over rated..being off your feet for weeks and stuck on the couch watching reruns of teen mom and the real world. Sounds like heaven at first but just like snowpocalypse of 2011, Atlanta folk started to get that cabin fever just after day 3. Now, could you imagine how you'd lose your mind after 3 weeks?!


Which brings me to this point.. I can't decide if we've gotten old or tired of one another. Or, maybe it is because of how I've treated him and the situation we've gotten our selves into. But, now that I'm feeling better and off, what my roommate calls them "cripple sticks".. I feel like I'm returning to myself again. The old me. I can walk again [I have a gansta limp still]. I can shower by myself without Al's help. I'm getting back on my feet and it is the best feeling in the world right now. But, the worst part of it is.. I don't have anyone at this moment as he and I sit on the couch so close, yet so far...to celebrate it with. And that my friends..is one of the worst feelings to have.

Why is it so hard to just reach over, grab his hand and just say..




Until things get better. Until I get back to work and on my feet financially and emotionally..I'll be sharing the bed alone.