dirty little 3 legged freaks

It was 2006 I believe, when I realized it. It was thanks to the Oasis Good Time Emporium when I realized it. It took Justin to cheat on me to realize it.

I'm a bisexual.

I admitted it. Either hate it or love it. I honest to Jebus don't care anymore whether you can handle it or not. I'm me. [insert Peter Griffin saying: "yay! you let me be myself!"]

This year has been nothing but rough, dating wise. Since Justin I've had 2 "boyfriends" that have only lasted a month each. This last boyfriend.. a royal NIGHTMARE.

I'm have a terrible choice of judgment. I find the cover of the book attractive and then come to find out after you start reading it just plain sucks. I pick the losers that treat me like shit and pick the good guys and treat them like shit. Well, not necessarily.. I push and push the good guys that I date TO try to make them treat me like crap. I can never just accept that hey, maybe I do deserve to be treated like a princess [princess awesome sucks - Darian].
In result, my terrible choice of judgment has pushed me over the edge. Al nudged me over the fence. That's all it took was dating a loser for a month..losing my glasses, my phone and my car in 1 month..that now I feel like I'm physically and mentally scarred from what I call them now, 3 legged freaks.

Not to sound conceded or all into myself..I'm pretty sure I could have any guy on my door step if I called them up right now to have sex with me. I apparently have that luxury from what I'm told. Over the years I've apparently grown into this "beautiful woman". When before, I looked like a nerd who didn't know what eye brow waxing and hair straightners were. So sue me.

I've had plenty of opportunities to make, what my ex-best friend Kevin would call it: "make dicks wet". But, have I been in the mood? No. Have I wanted to? No. Do I want to? Honestly, right now? NO.
The entire dirty little 3 legged freak male race..I'm completely turned off by you right now. Actually, it's so terrible you make me want to be full blow gay. [insert hand on hip and other hand hand flail here]

I know this has affected a few guys that are interested in me. I'm sorry. Thank all the ass hole boyfriends I've had. It has gotten to the extent that I get grossed out just by being touched. I'm sexually worthless to the male race right now because I'm that turned off by you guys. I've gotten to the point that I now check out women more than I do men. Maybe I'm in need of a change? Heck, can't knock it till ya try it. That's the saying.. Right?

Which brings me to the subject of Atlanta. Gays/bis are everywhere. I see it all day everyday. At work. At Mary's. It's completely amazing living closer to the city that I can actually get away with holding another girls hand [when or if ever the time comes]. Unlike Gwinnett which is frowned upon and ignored..which is what I gathered living up there so long. Just like my facial piercings, chucks and skinny jeans. I got the stares just from that..imagine showing the old classic PDA with another female in Gwinnett. Close minded fuckers. I used to be one. I used to be close minded about the gay/lesbian/bi community that I even frowned upon it. Until I had a few experiences of my own.

So, boys, I'll leave you with this. Leave me alone for right now. I want physically and mentally nothing to do with you. I've been burned countless times and maybe even once too many. You don't turn me on right now. I'm on the hunt and it's not for you.

I've sunk my teeth into the forbidden fruit and there is no turning back now.

what's in a boyfriend?

Saturday. I hate you. Just saying.


I definitely did not see this coming. Or maybe I should have?
Let me tell you my story:

I've been dating Al. Going on almost a whole month now. The relationship has completely gone way too fast. Can you imagine that he's already living with me? well, I hate to admit..he is. Ever since our first date to Blue Frog..

::insert crazy eyed face here:: o_O

Within this month I have lost:
-my prescription glasses that I need to see to drive. [which is kinda pointless now]
-lost my car due to car accident.
-gained a severely sprained ankle that has kept me out of work since the beginning of march.

WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG?!

Oh boy, let. me. tell. you.

Al is in jail in Fayette county. Probation Violation. [Been there, done that - although I only had to serve 30 days on house arrest.] And it doesn't look like he's getting out here soon. Probably expecting to see him [that's if they don't keep him after his court date] mayybe mid April. Well, he has been busting his ass at work to help pay my rent of $500 due to the fact that I've been out of work since the accident. He would store the money in the office in a safe hidden place that he didn't even know about so that he would refrain from spending it when he goes out after work. Or so I thought.

Spoke with Al yesterday on Luke's phone. Which, charged $10 to Luke's phone bill to call from jail..he wasn't very thrilled. Asked Al about the rent money he was saving at work. He doesn't have it. His friend Scott does and to not hit up Scott via facebook because Al wants to talk to him about it first. Kinda odd but, I say okay.
During this whole thing I've been talking with Al's mother over the phone. Had to call her up and let her know about the accident. Called her up to speak with her about Al and rent. Al's mother Susa, a very wonderful sweet sounding lady that just doesn't sound like she could hurt a fly. I've never met the woman before. But, I tell her that Al can no longer call because of the $10 phone charge that is applied to the phone bill for every single phone call. So, I had her relay a message to him when she went to go visit him this morning. Asking her to ask him about rent and how to get it from Scott. Just a simple task.

Saturday. Today.
I called Susa around 10:30 this morning. I knew that she had planned to visit Al in jail at 9 am. She has this tremble in her voice and pauses between her sentences as she goes to tell me about the rent money.
Al gave the money to Scott. Obviously, this I know since he told me this yesterday. Well, just my luck..Al owed Scott money and Scott already spent it. So, my mind runs a blank as Susa is expressing how sorry she is that he did that to me. When the agreement was that Al was going to work for me and twice as hard so he can afford my rent due to the fact that I've been stuck on crutches and out of work since March 8th.

Can we say..throw me under the bus a little?!

So, Al is no help. He has not been anything but the opposite of help since I met him. So, what's in a boyfriend? Oh, I don't know..apparently I like liars. Assholes. Jerks. Scumbag low life's who wreck your car, lie to you, make you lose your glasses in an argument, and scam you on their word and out of rent.

Fuck you Saturday. Fuck you 2011 and fuck you Al.

sincerely, single